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Monday, 21 March 2011

  • Our Struggles for our Wedding (10 months before the big day)

    It never crossed my mind how would my wedding will be. I never thought of getting married earlier than 32, since the last time I really thought about myself and enjoying my singleness was way back in college.

    Now that I only have 10 more months to get everything fixed before my wedding day, it gets harder and harder every time.

    Who’s bride who doesn’t want a huge wedding for that special day?

    I am not a complicated woman, I can settle with what we can only afford. Ideals pass my mind very often, but I can’t ask for much since we only have enough for a simple wedding. Yes, we only have enough and if I can maximize that to have a quality, simple yet elegant wedding I would definitely will.

    Nowadays information and advertisement are easily accessed in the net, and if you’re patient and hard-willed you can get lots of best deals from the entrepreneur. You can also find lots of ideas from the net too. One of the hard things on these is that if you really want to go into details and you want to see the actual, you have to go and see them personally. Of course, the budget really hurts, either you conform or you exceed.

    The crucial thing here is not the suppliers or the ideas, it’s how you and your partner cooperate, agree and compromise with all the decisions and details – and this is my problem.

    Knight and I hardly fight. We usually agree on things and don’t even have to talk about things because both of us think the same as the other. But while dealing on this wedding preparation, our true intentions and priorities just pops-up indifferently from the other.

    I am in a clinic for almost 3 months now, and I have more the time to search and coordinate with the suppliers. I e-mail knight every time I have to share something to him and eventually talks over when we meet.

    Every Saturday (since this is the only day that we’re not both occupied) we try to personally visit those suppliers and scour other suppliers to find cheaper but better quality of our finds.

    Last Saturday, we were hopping from different invitation shops to find a better deal and with quality invitations. I told him that we will return to our prospect supplier if we can rearrange the design and still get Php.  40-45. He was very reluctant and I know if I will push him he would as well be reluctant the whole time. So I told him that will ask our jeweler about the price of our newly found ring design instead. Again, he was reluctant. I was explaining to him that we haven’t proposed that design. I found myself alone taking care of all the needs in our wedding that I finally came out and suggested to do it himself. He would reply saying that if he took it, it will be finished immediately and he also said that he wouldn’t be on such details.

    I was really mad and disappointed. The reason behind all the researches that I made is because though we are in a very tight budget I want this special day to look special and not cheap. I want the whole wedding to reflect who we are as one. But I don’t think he knows that, or the relevance of everything in the wedding with our personal relationship.

    We got through that day.

    The next argument was about withdrawing our dollar account and putting it in the cooperative loans. He already took half of our account and now he wants to pull everything out. I didn’t agree and told him all my reasons. Despite of my rationale he was still persistent about it; I felt his frustration in having this amount of money to suffice our estimated wedding cost.

    He was emphasizing how much we could loan if our money is like this, and asking me if I have better idea. His frustration was squeezing me, I don’t have a better idea but I know we can be double-thrifty to save money. He was also mentioning that if we’re going to pay half of the expenses by June, our money should be like this, if we won’t spend until September our dollar will be spared.

    I took a pause and asked him how much deduction per pay day and he just replied with frustration that I didn’t understand. I wanted to flare up – really. I knew where he was coming so I tried to become patient; and besides if I did nothing good will happen. A pause helped me configure my sentence and finally I blurted out that we’re not going to spend money until October. I told him the reason why I asked about the deduction is because I wanted to know how much will be his total money in the cooperative and how much can we loan by that time.

    Finally, his temper cooled down and I know he realized how silly he was.

    But again, it happened. My sister in Singapore was suggesting buying our wedding rings in Singapore. She says the gold is cheaper and they provide certification that their diamond is genuine. I can’t wait for July to come, since we had a nice deal here in the Philippines.

    To lessen the pressure I started making a power point detailing what style we wanted and including what the jeweler have suggested to us. I was not sure with the width so I clarified it to Knight. Surprisingly he doesn’t know. How come he doesn’t know when he was with me during the conversation and the dealing? All he was saying was as long as the style is nice and the price is right his done with it. I told him that the reason why we go together meeting with the suppliers is because this is for our wedding; I want the decision to be mutual and synchronize. And he was like his focus was how we are meeting with the expenses and blah-blah.

    I cannot be more amused and disappointed.

    I am not counting how much I have done with this preparation but it would be a lot fun and easier if his with me in everything.

    I have not yet talked to him like I usually do, but keeping my mouth shut for awhile and keeping everything that I am doing from him is way more better than spilling it out and getting nothing from him.

    This is just crazy.  

     

    But it’s an ultimate test of our love for each other.

Monday, 03 January 2011

  • A SERIOUS YET GENTLE SCRUB I REALLY LOVE!

    I wanted to share this after I have used it for a month but just had the time now.

    Anyway, I have been meticulous about my facial skin after I have realized that I turned 26 already (turning a year older this year). I want my skin to look oil-free and black/whiteheads free and of course I want that smooth fresh look. I am also OC about removing dead cells that’s why I used scrub like every other day especially that I work in ER so having it bacteria free is a plus issue.

    I have mentioned about the brightener scrub of St. Ives but you know, our wants changes and so with our needs so I had a changed of heart.

    I have read lots of comments regarding St. Ives being bad on the skin, but I want to personally know and experience it, and since I don’t have that very bad experience and it had some good effects on me I continuously use their products.

    Let’s move onto the product itself.

    St. Ives Apricot Scrub SENSITIVE SKIN “GENTLE”.

    When I first poured it into my palm, the smell was so uplifting and mild. (You must try it!).

    That’s how I started to get addictive to it.

    So here are the reasons why I’m still using it.

    1. The smell is so uplifting.
    2. The texture is so fine and soft (compared to other scrubs that they have).
    3. When it’s on your skin it doesn’t feel rough/coarse or hard.
    4. You can stay scrubbing even until it turns sort of dry without even hurting your skin in the long run.
    5. After wash, your skin smells good, feels soft, and looks clear and supple.
    6. And NO patches or weird look when you face the mirror during dressing up.

     

    For the plus, continuous use (3 months)….

    1. Turned my skin less oily and those whiteheads on the corners and side of my nose were gone and no more blackheads too.
    2. I have a better (fairer) complexion and clearer skin, (use it on your neck too).

    I want to share this to all of the women out there who are afraid to try scrubs (just don’t be too hard on the scrubs!)

    Happy new year and take risks!

     

     

Thursday, 18 November 2010

  • Everythings fall so wrong.

    We hv an ongoing re-construction @ ED. Things have been so crazy since this morning. We had more than 15 admissions. And everythng falls into d primary care. Aside from being restless and tired, gail was even rough and moving so hard as prince and i finished d endorsment. I was f*ckng tired. Wen i called rommel, he started lecturing me re: my fb post. I knew someone in d higher position myt commented on my post. I asked him to delete it for me since i am literally tired but he kept on telling me to be responsible, until he cut d convo. I was planning to come by to his place, at least before i leave for angkong, but it made me change my mind. I am so caught up witj d yelling! D waiting for dt bohol confirmation! D juniors! Work! BS MD! My angkong's status, those other people tht might pop out f i go to d province and now rommel! I decided to deactivate my fb. I am so fucking fed up with all the issues! I feel so contained! I have enough!

Tuesday, 07 September 2010

  • How to properly wash your face.

    I have decided to start taking on pills since I have oily skin and after 3 months my skin started to clear up; but I have noticed things after using dermalogica ultra-calming cleanser, you that mode when you have a new cleanser and you feel every lathering on your skin? Haha! That’s how I got this tips.

    Every person fails to notice what I have failed to do so a few months before and that is really letting our skin breathe.

    I suggest to all to try this tips and just feel like how it works for a week or two.

    1. Use a facial cleanser appropriate to your skin type and make sure it is gentle as well, it is important not to over-do on cleansers. Cleansers should cleanse and not damage the skin; it should respect the PH too.
    2. When washing, make sure your face is wet enough so the cleanser would not go rough onto the skin, it should glide and open the pores.
    3. When putting cleanser, make sure your hands are clean, it shouldn’t add up on the dirt you have on your face.
    4. Put just enough cleanser on your palm. Too much will either waste the cleanser or let you not focus on the skin instead on the bubbles of the cleanser.
    5. Massage gently the cleanser on your face and do it circularly. When lathering it onto the face make sure to not press too much but make sure that the cleanser softens the dirt, make sure to massage face on every side and do not miss an area.
    6. * this is what I think made the difference. Make sure when massaging think about getting off every dirt on your face, so after rinsing you will feel that your skin’s pores are now breathing and no longer suffocated with dirt, oil and make up. Take time on every area, I have suggested to use a gentle cleanser so even if you take more than a minute or two the cleanser would not over-do its purpose.
    7. And really make sure you rinse it well. This is one important thing to do too. You want your pores to breathe freely not only from dirt, make-up and oil but also from the residue of the cleanser.
    8. Pat gently and with clean towel.

    I’m trying to save my ultra-calming cleanser after using it for a month, and trying to finish every started facial cleanser that I have prior to the Dermalogica. I have used my VMV for oily skin for a month now and I feel like while using my suggested tips my skin feels so much better unlike before.

    Don’t forget to put on the love while you wash, rinse and pat-dry.

    Finally I had the time to share this. I really hope you'd get that loving feeling.

Friday, 06 August 2010

  • Is it pride or is it just me being a woman to my man?

    Today is such a lone day.

    My sister Karole just left for North Carolina this 10 am and I went home early just to have her last hours here in the Philippines worth remembering with us her family.

    As we were joking around and as I looked at my mother holding back her tears I didn’t notice I too was starting to cry. I didn’t know if Karole noticed but I wanted to cry. It will be a year without her and I’m going to be left out with my sister Tin whom I hate most. So even though I just came from a wrecked night duty I tried to stay awake for her.

    Another was when last night, Knight’s last text was his going to drink a cup of coffee around 2158H. By a round 12mn I was wondering why I didn’t receive any text or call from him so I decided to call him only to find out he was still drinking a cup of coffee and having tales from people inside the house.

    When I was there Aug 4th, I noticed how Ems just flirt around in his presence, and I knew from that moment she don’t have any boyfriend. I know how to flirt, I know who I am when I want to flirt, and I know when girls flirt, I saw her unconscious flirtness hanging around the atmosphere. I know Knight too. I know how he denies his feelings to those girls he’s checking out and I can smell that. Instead of bossing around I keep those thoughts inside of me because though I don’t trust those girls around him, I TRY to trust him. But this time, for the first time, Knight didn’t sleep as early as he would when he was still here in our house, and he didn’t sleep as early as he did when I was there with him. I felt that bothering crunch inside my heart and I am angry, I wanted to explode and I wanted to just cut everything between us. I wanted to tell him the one thought I want to pin in his heart; “mahuli lang kita at wala ka ng babalikan”.

    When I woke up this afternoon, I realized I wasn’t that excited anymore to see him or text him or even hear his voice. It makes me cry but that’s how I feel… that’s how his act of just drinking a cup of coffee made me feel.

    Everything that I heard and felt whenever he do that whatever he does just keep on coming back to my senses and I have to admit lesser and lesser my trust and my desire of him just floats somewhere that I couldn’t get a hold of, or maybe I don’t want to exert any effort to grasp it. I don’t know. I feel like he should have this sensitivity to acknowledge what stupidity and flirting he did last night and make up with me.

    Is it pride or is it just me being a woman to my man?

     

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zefreakinme

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    • Name: roxy
    • Location: Manila
    • Birthday: 7/15/1984
    • Member Since: 3/14/2004

About Me

  • Just a note to say i'm living... that I'm not among the dead... though I'm getting more forgetful and mixed up in the head! life is all about you and the people you care most, it's about how difficult it is and how you get through it... and how you become happy for who you are right now. and thanking God bcoz despite of all you're okeigh and still kicking ass!

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