It never crossed my mind how would my wedding will be. I never thought of getting married earlier than 32, since the last time I really thought about myself and enjoying my singleness was way back in college.
Now that I only have 10 more months to get everything fixed before my wedding day, it gets harder and harder every time.
Who’s bride who doesn’t want a huge wedding for that special day?
I am not a complicated woman, I can settle with what we can only afford. Ideals pass my mind very often, but I can’t ask for much since we only have enough for a simple wedding. Yes, we only have enough and if I can maximize that to have a quality, simple yet elegant wedding I would definitely will.
Nowadays information and advertisement are easily accessed in the net, and if you’re patient and hard-willed you can get lots of best deals from the entrepreneur. You can also find lots of ideas from the net too. One of the hard things on these is that if you really want to go into details and you want to see the actual, you have to go and see them personally. Of course, the budget really hurts, either you conform or you exceed.
The crucial thing here is not the suppliers or the ideas, it’s how you and your partner cooperate, agree and compromise with all the decisions and details – and this is my problem.
Knight and I hardly fight. We usually agree on things and don’t even have to talk about things because both of us think the same as the other. But while dealing on this wedding preparation, our true intentions and priorities just pops-up indifferently from the other.
I am in a clinic for almost 3 months now, and I have more the time to search and coordinate with the suppliers. I e-mail knight every time I have to share something to him and eventually talks over when we meet.
Every Saturday (since this is the only day that we’re not both occupied) we try to personally visit those suppliers and scour other suppliers to find cheaper but better quality of our finds.
Last Saturday, we were hopping from different invitation shops to find a better deal and with quality invitations. I told him that we will return to our prospect supplier if we can rearrange the design and still get Php. 40-45. He was very reluctant and I know if I will push him he would as well be reluctant the whole time. So I told him that will ask our jeweler about the price of our newly found ring design instead. Again, he was reluctant. I was explaining to him that we haven’t proposed that design. I found myself alone taking care of all the needs in our wedding that I finally came out and suggested to do it himself. He would reply saying that if he took it, it will be finished immediately and he also said that he wouldn’t be on such details.
I was really mad and disappointed. The reason behind all the researches that I made is because though we are in a very tight budget I want this special day to look special and not cheap. I want the whole wedding to reflect who we are as one. But I don’t think he knows that, or the relevance of everything in the wedding with our personal relationship.
We got through that day.
The next argument was about withdrawing our dollar account and putting it in the cooperative loans. He already took half of our account and now he wants to pull everything out. I didn’t agree and told him all my reasons. Despite of my rationale he was still persistent about it; I felt his frustration in having this amount of money to suffice our estimated wedding cost.
He was emphasizing how much we could loan if our money is like this, and asking me if I have better idea. His frustration was squeezing me, I don’t have a better idea but I know we can be double-thrifty to save money. He was also mentioning that if we’re going to pay half of the expenses by June, our money should be like this, if we won’t spend until September our dollar will be spared.
I took a pause and asked him how much deduction per pay day and he just replied with frustration that I didn’t understand. I wanted to flare up – really. I knew where he was coming so I tried to become patient; and besides if I did nothing good will happen. A pause helped me configure my sentence and finally I blurted out that we’re not going to spend money until October. I told him the reason why I asked about the deduction is because I wanted to know how much will be his total money in the cooperative and how much can we loan by that time.
Finally, his temper cooled down and I know he realized how silly he was.
But again, it happened. My sister in Singapore was suggesting buying our wedding rings in Singapore. She says the gold is cheaper and they provide certification that their diamond is genuine. I can’t wait for July to come, since we had a nice deal here in the Philippines.
To lessen the pressure I started making a power point detailing what style we wanted and including what the jeweler have suggested to us. I was not sure with the width so I clarified it to Knight. Surprisingly he doesn’t know. How come he doesn’t know when he was with me during the conversation and the dealing? All he was saying was as long as the style is nice and the price is right his done with it. I told him that the reason why we go together meeting with the suppliers is because this is for our wedding; I want the decision to be mutual and synchronize. And he was like his focus was how we are meeting with the expenses and blah-blah.
I cannot be more amused and disappointed.
I am not counting how much I have done with this preparation but it would be a lot fun and easier if his with me in everything.
I have not yet talked to him like I usually do, but keeping my mouth shut for awhile and keeping everything that I am doing from him is way more better than spilling it out and getting nothing from him.
This is just crazy.
But it’s an ultimate test of our love for each other.
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